Shab-e-Barat has so much to remind me. It starts with the fascination of buying various crackers and phuljaris (Sparklers). Jia and I used to wait for it throughout the year and we both always got a box of phuljari each and crackers (we used to call it chutputi). Usually we got clad in our best joras (shalwar kameez) early before Asar time. Ammi was very particular about such days. (Don’t consider her being engaged in cracker business, she was the most religious soul I have come across till now in my life), she walked the talk. it was a mandatory practice for us to offer all our Salahs, recite the Holy Quran, pray Nafil Namaz and continue to do Tasbeeh. Whatever our elders commanded us we had to abide by those. Ammi made biryani and I don’t remember exactly if we had halwa or Zarda. The family dinner for this particular eve was a solemn offer. Being respectful and sober on Dastarkhawn and followed rules. The platter of food was exchanged in the neighborhood. Trays in kitchen were loaded with variety of halwas and sweet yellow coloured rice.
The most awaited affair of the day came at the night when we got permissions to go out and light our crackers and phuljaris (which with the passage of time, Jia and I realized was a complete nuisance). I still remember one if the Shab-e- Barats, when I didn’t offer my Nafil Salahs and Babbu made me stand with him. Without closing my eyes, I could see him standing on the prayer mat and offering Salah like an old man, sobbing and shaking. Despite reminiscing various occasions from my memory, I could not find him wearing any other clothes but white shalwar Kameez. Today, I can feel him around me, staring at me, making me feel ashamed of my weak habits of Ibadah, ordering me to do Wudu (ablution) and stand behind him to pray. The only namaz he made me offer with him was on this day. Later he made me sit beside him and guided me how Allah loves those who obey HIS commands and surrender. At that time, I was smiling forcefully, making him feel how intently I was listening to him. Yes, I was! Now I can share each word he uttered but at that time, it was travelling to my unconscious mind (probably Allah has deliberately done this to me).
Babbu, still my Ibadahs are misshapen and feeble but whenever I pray I have you with me, I still stand behind you but not acting anymore rather offering Salah diligently. Praying for you. Hoping to see you and live with you in Jannah..
Miss you so much!
R. Jeddy
